Author: justthinkingoutloudblog

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inspiration

Do you trust the advice you give to others?

Do you trust yourself to give good advice to others?

How much do you trust the advice you give your closest friends or loved ones when they come to you about some challenge they face, or important decisions they have to make?

A little? A lot? Perhaps none at all?

We are often able to provide our most objective advice to our loved ones, regardless of the nature of the challenges they might be having. We tend to listen to them closely enough to really HEAR and understand what they are saying – and maybe even what they are not saying.

The bottom line is that when we love someone we usually would like to know they will have the best outcome possible, and hence our approach to offering advice tends to be more attentive and measured; practical and at the same time sympathetic.


Amazingly, our advice to others are sometimes treated as irrelevant when we face similar circumstances! Mind you, there might be certain details that make the same advice impractical in our own circumstances. However, for the most part, we might end up totally snubbing our own advice. Part of the reason might just be that no matter how much we think we understand what someone is going through, maybe we really don’t – or not as much as we thought! Moreover, it is far easier to give advice, than to act on the same advice even when faced with the same set of circumstances.

There’s no guarantee that the advice we give, even if sought, will be acted on. It might just be that when all the relevant facts are considered, they might find it difficult – very difficult – to actually act on it. Sometimes it’s out of fear of the unknown, or fear of the repressions, or perhaps because acting on the advice might see them being pushed too far out of their comfort zone.

When we offer advice, it is the best interest of the recipient that takes priority; not ours. Once that is the case, if our advice is good enough for others then it is good enough for ourselves. Recognizing this can help us to trust ourselves more, and ultimately benefit from the very advice we may have imparted to others.

#advice #GivingGoodAdvice

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inspiration

A Terrible Combination

So you spoke your mind…then what?

When you argue with someone is your aim solely to win the argument? Or is it to win over a friend or protect a friendship?

An angry state of mind and an ‘unbridled tongue’ I believe can be one of the most consequential combinations that negatively impact our day to day interactions. Admittedly, an angry disposition PLUS a weapon can be more dangerous, but that’s not the focus of this piece.

Too often we jump at every opportunity to voice our discontent or disdain about something that someone said or did, and we make use of a ‘loose’ tongue to ‘speak our mind’ and exact retribution and judgement against the person.

This is not necessarily to say that we should not voice our discontent. I believe it is best to ‘get stuff off our chest’ instead of harbouring malice and ill will against someone. However, resolving conflict in our interactions with others requires maturity and authenticity, and it helps to approach this with an appropriate combination of action and words. This is indeed the healthiest way to reach a resolution – IF reaching a resolution is in fact the goal.

Whether they be spoken or typed onto a screen, unless we stop and think about the intention or motive of the words we are about to utter, or type, we often end up causing more harm than good.

It sometimes requires us taking a step back, and a few more moments of thought – until the mind is clear – to rectify the situation and create a more harmonious outcome from the conversation. Thus we can end up sparing someone, even ourselves, great embarrassment.

Let us learn to pause before responding. There is great wisdom and value in the occasional delay.

Even if a conversation is charged, a positive outcome can be attained if we are mindful of how we go about it

#ThinkThenSpeak #PositiveConversations #BeCalm

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inspiration

“It’s YOUR Fault; Not MINE!”

If you keep looking for someone to blame, you will find them.

“I’ve messed up yet again; who should I put the blame on this time?”

Well…maybe not in those exact words, but by our very actions we might very well be guilty of blaming others for our mistakes and failures.

We all make bad decisions: some intentional, some unintentional, and others, well, through other people. Yes, sometimes we make decisions that involve other people who we use as surrogates for ourselves, creating the perfect opportunity to disown the outcomes. Decisions that can lead to one logical outcome: our own downfall.

When we selfishly live our life without considering others around us, we are setting ourselves up for isolation and loneliness;

When we fail to consider the feelings of others in our interactions with them, we are creating a hostile environment for ourselves;

When we pursue a philosophy of win/lose, where ‘I must win and you must lose’ thereby putting us in competition with everyone else, we instinctively find ways to keep others down ‘by any means necessary’.

When we selfishly refuse to lend a helping hand to someone else in need, even when we have the ability/capacity to do so, we are limiting the chance of others helping us in our own times of need.

When we seek to blame our past, our parents, or our circumstances while growing up for who we have become and for where we are now, we are denying the free will that we have, as adults, to make our own decisions.

Yes, when we refuse to take responsibility for our own actions and their outcomes, we might well be indirectly shifting the blame to others. Owning our actions and their outcomes allows us to humbly accept the responsibility for their outcomes, and the reward from learning from them.

Because he who refuses to learn from his mistakes is bound to repeat them.

If this were your name tag, would it accurately reflect who you are?

#OwnIt #TakingResponsibility #ItsMyLife #SuccessDependsOnMe #Winning

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inspiration

Routines Are Important (And So Are Disruptions)

DISRUPTIONS: Can’t live with them; can’t live without them

Our days are full of routines. They are necessary for us to operate at peak efficiency while infusing some measure of predictability and a healthy level calmness into our days. Regardless how spontaneous we might be, we do observe routines in most aspects of our lives.

Sometimes our routines get messed up. At times it results from our own action or inaction, while other times it is caused by events outside of our control. Perhaps it’s our bus being late; or a medical emergency; or perhaps something as simple as having to go back for an item we accidentally left at home.

When our routines are derailed we might find ourselves stressed and in a rush trying to ‘catch up’. The result: missing out on opportunities to take a well-needed break; missing out on opportunities for personal growth; or missing out on opportunities to share a laugh with friends. Sometimes it means missing out on opportunities to be a blessing to others.

Let us be alert to opportunities disguised as disruptions to our routines that we encounter each day. Let us anticipate disruptions and plan for them. When these disruptions come, let us seize the moment, and take advantage of the opportunity they present, to have a positive impact on the world we live in.

#HandlingDisruptions #Disruptions #Routines

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inspiration

Grow Where You Are Planted

A farmer never digs up the seed he has planted, to observe its progress. Neither does he keep moving the seed from one place to another before it germinates. If he does that, the seed will never germinate and grow to yield the rich harvest he seeks.

A good farmer knows that quite a lot goes on from this…

Like a seed, real transformation in our lives does not happen in a moment, nor a day, nor even a week. Instead it occurs over time as we patiently allow the strength we are developing within ourselves to ‘germinate’, take root, and grow into something beautiful.

… to this …

The process is chock full of laughter and tears, joy and pain, with numerous twists and turns along the way. But if we are ever to move from our current position at point A to point B(ETTER), we gotta allow the PROCESS to run its course.

You can indeed grow, and thrive, where you are planted if you just be patient with the process.

… to this.

#Growing #WorkingWithTheProcess #PersonalGrowth #Becoming

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inspiration

Opportunities Disguised As Disruptions

Some closed doors can be broken down, but that should not always be the required response.

Hoping to get to work on time one morning after having left home a bit later than usual, I arrived at the train platform just as the doors to the only available train were locked – a full minute ahead of schedule! At least according to my watch. It started moving forward but then it stopped and the doors unlocked, providing me the opportunity to get in. Relieved and breathing a quick ‘Thank God’ under my breath I gleefully entered.

A short distance along our way an alarm went off in my coach and it was confirmed that there was an emergency situation, and with it the potential of a long delay for me getting to work.

My first thought was “Oh man, why did I get this particular train!? I’m gonna be so late!” I immediately reflected on the fact that another train was pulling in when this one was leaving, and how the wait would have been ‘only 5 more minutes’ before that too would have been on its way.

It then occurred to me that perhaps I should say a word of prayer for the person, whatever the emergency happened to be! Admittedly it was a very short prayer that I breathed, and it soon appeared all was well. I started thinking about how often we are presented with opportunities to redirect our focus, but we miss them because we are in a rush to get where we are going.

“…this momentary disruption you are facing might just point you into a different direction than you intended, but which will have a far more positive impact on your life.”

At the same time, we can so easily fail to see how we can turn such disruptions around, making them mere ‘detours along a more scenic route’ where we get the opportunity to experience something special, something we didn’t even know we needed.

Maybe your disruption is just God’s way of telling you to ‘Slow down; take a break; rejuvenate yourself.’ Or perhaps He’s telling you danger is ahead – such as having an accident that takes you to the ER where a routine, precautionary exam reveals some totally unrelated condition that you never knew existed, but which could have life-altering implications.

Who knows, this momentary disruption you are facing might just point you into a different direction than you intended, but which will have a far more positive impact on your life. Or, perhaps, on a journey you had no idea that you needed.

Sometimes a closed road leads to Multiple detours that can yield unexpected yet rewarding results.
Categories
inspiration

Gratitude – A Matter Of Perspective

Taking a pause to give thanks for what we have is a useful way to remind ourselves of our many blessings

In our quest for material gain and social advancement we sometimes lose sight of the things that ought to be most important.

We compromise our health in pursuit of wealth.

We ignore the blessings we have – such as limbs that move – forgetting that some persons have none.

We complain about the food we have to eat – forgetting that some have nothing to eat, some have little or no choice about what they eat, while others have to be fed through tubes.

When we view our circumstances through the correct lens, we find that we actually have far more to give thanks for than we may have previously realized. We are blessed in so many ways and while someone else might have something we lack and desire, if we shift our focus inwards we will find that we are indeed blessed beyond measure.

When what we have is assessed from a perspective of gratitude, we might even find that we do have a lot that others are wishing they had – things that may even be of far greater value than what we have been pining after.

#gratitude #AttitudeOfGratitude #BlessedBeyondMeasure

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inspiration

Keep Your Light Shining

The darkness around you makes your light shine brighter. Keep on shining.

It is never comfortable while in that dark place in your life. Maybe this dark place you are currently in is the darkest it has ever been! Be assured that this won’t last forever so while there, make the most of it: as you LABOUR your way through it, make sure you GROW your way through it!

After all, the light that is within you shines brightest when it has some darkness to shine through. So be confident and radiant even in your darkest hour; not only will it make you stronger, but also importantly, it will help you light the path for someone else to find their way through.

Don’t let your light go dim because of the darkness around you. Keep it shining and showing the way. Perhaps someone has already set off on the path being lit by you as you go through your days. Shutting it off can well see then lose their way.

You are not alone; reach out to someone willing to help you retain your sheen. Yes it might be hard to do, but it is easier to maintain your light than to rekindle it after it has already burned out.

#KeepOnShining #LightingTheWay #StayStrong

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Mental Health Personal Wellness

LET’S TALK about Mental Health

Every day, people from all walks of life are facing challenges with their mental health. However, like so many ailments, you cannot tell by looking.

You are not alone

Regardless the approach one takes in managing their mental health, it helps to augment that by talking about it.

It is through talking about it that one can:

⁃ Obtain support in coming to terms with the reality of their illness;

⁃ Recognize that they can still thrive and live a full and fruitful life when properly managed;

⁃ Find out what options are available to assist them;

⁃ Find the support needed for their specific challenges

⁃ Recognize they are not alone with respect to whatever mental health challenges they are facing

Like any other illness, nobody else needs to know about our mental health struggles. But if we do choose to talk about it, that might just be the difference between someone winning their battle with mental illness, or actually losing.

Simply put, talking about our mental health challenges might make the difference between life and death for ourself, or even someone else. It is that serious.

So let us do something about our mental health – LET’S TALK…

#BellLetsTalk #Bell #BellLetsTalkDay #MentalHealth #MentalHealthMatters #mentalhealthawareness #TalkAboutIt

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Overcoming Failure

Putting Failure In Its Correct Perspective

Failure does not have to be GAME OVER; make it GAME ON instead.

Pushing ourselves beyond our limits is almost a guaranteed recipe for failure – by doing so we are basically setting ourself up to fail.

There are some pursuits in life that to some might be considered futile, since for the ‘rational’ person, they are not achievable. At least NOT by us. Yes, some will go as far as telling you it is not that it is impossible; it is just impossible for YOU.

Perhaps you are an amputee who dream of climbing a mountain; maybe you are someone with a speech impediment working hard to become a public speaker. Perhaps you are someone struggling with low self-esteem from a turbulent past or some condition that makes your pursuits so much more difficult to attain!

Yes you MIGHT very well fail; but isn’t the possibility of SUCCESS it’s own motivator? Isn’t your own will to win strong enough to make you actually do the ‘impossible?’ Does someone else know more about you and your capabilities than you know about yourself?

When someone doubts your ability, or indeed your capacity, to accomplish greatness, that’s often because of jealousy or their own narrow-minded view of themselves. Do not allow them to impose that on you.

At the same time, so what if you fail? It is by stretching ourselves that we achieve more, even more than what we ourselves previously thought possible. It is how we test the limits of our human capabilities.

There is great education in failure, including:

⁃ We learn what doesn’t work

⁃ We learn humility

⁃ We learn tenacity

⁃ We learn a lot about ourselves

⁃ We learn about how others view us

⁃ We learn to appreciate the satisfaction of success when it is ultimately achieved

Failing is a necessary part of life because every failure increases the chance of success – providing we actually learn from each failure. You see, failing is never final until we stop trying.

So don’t be too hard on yourself when you fail at something challenging. Ultimately, it is better to fail at a lofty goal than to achieve a mediocre goal that is designed to merely ‘be safe’.

Success should be celebrated no matter how small, because it suggests someone chose to get back up after having previously failed.

#gameon #learningfromfailure #riseup #try #keepontrying #success