Category: inspiration

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10 Life Lessons From The Highway (Part 4 of 10)

LIFE LESSON #4:

Sometimes there are traffic jams, leading to gridlock and a slow burn on the road.

Do you sometimes feel as if you are going nowhere? Like your life is stagnant and nothing you do seems to help? I suspect we have all been there. How do you deal with those situations? In those times it is important that we hunker down and keep on going. It might be the only route to your destination and if yo are going to make it, then you gotta keep at it.

You just gotta keep on pushing through, because it is always darkest before the dawn; the presence of clouds doesn’t mean the sun is not there; and like being stuck in traffic on the highway, sometimes relief is just around the corner!

Sometimes it is slow going for a while and then suddenly and without any apparent explanation for what was keeping you back, things suddenly turn around and you find yourself sailing through.

I get it – Nobody wants to be stuck in a gridlock on the roads, and less so in their life. It is frustrating; yet unfortunately it is one of the realities of life. It might mean pulling over and finding somewhere to wait it out. Go spend some time with relatives; if you have writers block go sit by a lake or on the beach, free your mind and inspiration will eventually come.

While often hard to recognize, significant growth is possible while stuck in traffic. Sometimes that is when you get the chance to observe the beauty, or lack thereof, of the scenery you tend to miss every day. You develop patience. Or you learn to adapt and cope by perhaps putting in your favourite music; or listen to your inspirational podcast; or maybe, just maybe, that becomes your opportunity to slow down and reflect.

Whether in spite of, or because of, your traffic jam, good things CAN happen. Make the most of your traffic jam.

Rush hour is one of the most stressful situations on the road. Imagine that – “RUSH HOUR“ and yet literally going nowhere!
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inspiration

10 Life Lessons From The Highway (Part 3 of 10)

LESSON #3:

Sometimes our vehicle stalls or runs out of gas and we have to seek help in the form of fuel, or in having it towed.

A basic rule of the road is to always ensure you have adequate fuel to make the journey, or at least have options for top-up if and when needed. However, it is not uncommon to experience an unexpected scenario which, despite your best planning, creates a problematic outcome for you.

In life we never know where help will come from, and we hope that help will come when we need it. Some situations cannot be planned for, even if they can be avoided. Like having an illness, or worse. As humans we are prone to illnesses, and sometimes critical illnesses.

Individuals have been cut down by illnesses in the prime of their lives. Despite how physically healthy someone appears, there is always something lurking in the shadows. Further, accidents happen, sometimes with tragic outcomes. Then what?

Whatever the cause, the reality is that sometimes the result is that of our own strength, or due to the lack thereof, we need outside help. Where will that help come from?

It is therefore important that we live our lives recognizing that it is always wise to invest in helping others, not with the focus on getting something in return, but for the main reason that it is the good thing to do. Beyond that, our generosity goes a long way in establishing goodwill with others.

There might come a point when we are unable to extend help to others, even if we are able to afford to pay for any help we need. However, the time may well come when something that money cannot buy, becomes needed. The help we need might then be dependent on someone else’s generosity.

We generally aim to live our lives working for, and expecting, the very best that life has to offer. However, despite our best efforts, bad things happen to good people. It is best to be prepared.

Despite our best efforts, we sometimes run out of fuel, or are otherwise incapacitated and are then totally dependent on others
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inspiration

10 Life Lessons From The Highway (Part 2 of 10)

LESSON #2:

Sometimes you have to rely on other motorists to help you out. Perhaps other motorists give you a pass so that you can get ahead.

Often times we find ourselves needing support or assistance from someone else, even strangers. The saying ‘no man is an island’ provides a succinct representation of the truth of the interdependence of humanity.

Sometimes we find ourselves on our face, broke and helpless. Without someone stepping in we could find the struggle too hard for us to bear, or ‘late for the party’ and missing out on opportunities that we might have been pursuing and so badly need. Maybe we have some emergency and need to get somewhere FAST!

Despite our best planning and precautions, we never know when that time will come, and from whom that help will come. One thing I find doesn’t work well: trying to force someone to give us a pass. On the roads we are often at the mercy of other motorists, and a polite ‘request’ is sometimes all it takes to get that assistance we need to get ahead.

Similarly, we need to respectfully and politely seek help, knowing that it is the prerogative of the person or organization we have reached out to for this help, to extend such help or to deny it. Sometimes, being polite, even after apparently being refused, can cause a change of mind thus securing the help we need.

Oh, and let’s not forget to acknowledge, and appreciate, the help we get. We might not get the chance to return the favour to the source of our help, but we can definitely ‘pay it forward’ by offering helping hands to someone else.

Let us not forget the hands that have fed us, lifted us, or shoved us out of the way of danger, but be willing to do the same for others.

Life requires changing lanes, and sometimes we need the goodness of others to facilitate that.
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inspiration

10 Life Lessons From The Highway

Our journey through life is like traveling along a highway. You never know what you will encounter as you travel along.

We’ve all traveled on a highway at some point. Highways are a complex interconnection of speed limits, weave zones, speed bumps, detours, etc., all while ensuring your ride is road-worthy – meaning fit to be driven, insured, and has fuel, while navigating the different ‘crazy’ motorists we unavoidably have to contend with on the road.

Depending on whether we are pedestrians or motorists, our perspective of the highways is different. Navigating the highway, especially as motorists, requires a basic understanding of our vehicle, reading and interpreting the road signs, staying in our lanes, all while anticipating what other road users might do.

Without a careful plan of our route, we could experience significant delays, or even end up somewhere we did not intend to be. Sometimes we might find ourselves in ‘hostile’ territory with craters masquerading as roadways.

All in all, our experience on a highway provides a perfect metaphor for this thing called LIFE. Join me as I explore this thing called LIFE from the perspective of our experiences on the highway: 10 Life Lessons from the Highway.

LIFE LESSON #1:

If you don’t know where you are going, any road will take you there.

If you don’t know where you are going, how will you know that you have reached?

This sounds confusing, but it is true. If you don’t know what you want to be in life, you will not be able to put in place the appropriate plans to get there. Without a plan it becomes impossible to know when you have reached where you want to be.

Life comes with countless decisions to make such as college, career, or job options to choose from, and they all require choosing the appropriate route.

O. N. Rowe

While it might be difficult to identify or even prepare for what you would consider the ultimate career for you, it is important to have some guide, even if short-term. It will mean doing your research so that you can make informed decisions, even if it is about establishing 5-year or ten-ten year goals.

If you are going somewhere for the first time it helps to have either a GPS or at least the directions whether on paper or in your head. Otherwise it becomes a case of ’So I am on the highway; now what?’

With a destination in mind you can then plan the best or preferred route for your particular journey’s needs. This helps to avoid undesirable delays and disruptive detours along the way.

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inspiration Inspirational Thoughts

Life = Choices

Life sometimes provides us with lots of choices: sometimes between good and bad; good and better; or between bad and worse.

Choices are abundant in almost all facets of our lives. We are mostly free to make important choices like careers, jobs, religion, or life partners, and less consequential choices relating to matters such as which outfit to wear when, what colour nail polish or lipstick to buy, what to eat for breakfast/lunch/dinner, etc.

Many of the choices we face daily are universally recognized, and personally demanded and enforced. Some are repetitive and routine, and are applied without much thought.

CHOICES IN OUR ACTIONS AND WORDS: A very important choice we make each day has to do with our actions and our words. Actions have consequences whether positive or negative. Some actions produce immediate rewards or consequences, others produce delayed rewards or consequences. In some cases our actions might provide direct benefit to others, but they are mostly beneficial to ourselves.

However, when it comes to our words, a little goes a long way. As difficult as it might be to do so, it is very important that we choose our words wisely…especially when we are upset.

Being angry tends to suppress any inhibition or concern we might otherwise have had, about the impact of what we say to others. In fact, in our anger, we tend to choose our words strategically, i.e, to have the biggest impact. We aim for their weakest spot, which we sometimes know very well, to attack.

We usually get over whatever made us upset eventually, and perhaps before long it fades from our memory. However, our words and the impact they would have had on the intended target will rest with them for a long time to come, and may well shape their future.

CONCLUDING THOUGHT:

We should always keep in mind that for every situation we encounter we have a choice in how we respond. Yes – that part is entirely up to us. If we demand the right to having a choice about rejecting something that does not favour us, we also should, conversely, accept responsibility for any outcome that emanates from a choice we made.

If, in our interactions with others, we allow someone to aggravate us to the point where we react in an inappropriate or even embarrassing manner, again that is on us. To attempt to sidestep responsibility and say, or even suggest, that someone else ‘made me do it’ is nothing short of an attempt to deflect responsibility. Beyond that though, it suggests an admission that we are not in control of ourselves but instead, are controlled by others.

Choices, after all, have their consequences.

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inspiration

Life = Disappointments

Do not allow your disappointment to stifle your optimism. Take your disappointment in stride and renew your hope for a better outcome…next time.

Disappointments are an ever-present reality of life. Among the biggest sources of disappointment are:

⁃ Unmet expectations;

⁃ Finding out we are not as good at something as we previously thought;

⁃ Being let down by someone we trust;

⁃ Failing at something we feel we should not have failed at;

⁃ Not getting that job we feel we deserved or so badly wanted

We all have experienced disappointment in some form, and the list is too great to mention all the ways. It is often times greatest depending on the level of our optimism, or our level of trust in someone, or when we are overly confident in our ability to succeed. Sometimes we mistakenly feel that ‘our success is assured!’ Only to find out that it was not assured after all!

Accepting that certain outcomes are outside of our control helps us to move beyond the disappointment. However, we sometimes find it harder to do so when we feel we are to blame due to some act or omission on our part.

They say hindsight is 20/20 vision. But I suggest it is not that simple. Our actions tend to be informed by our past experiences and learning, and with fallible memories we sometimes go off course, leading to differences that can have major impact on subsequent outcomes. Put simply, nothing in life is fixed; nothing in life is constant; no specific outcome in life is assured (well except, they say, Death and Taxes🙂).

We take each moment as it comes, applying our best judgement in making our decisions, and while a certain outcome might be most likely, it is not guaranteed despite our best efforts.

Life = Disappointments. Don’t live in your disappointments; take them in stride and don’t let them hold you back.

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inspiration

Hope Rises

Just like the sun rises each day, may the HOPE within you be constantly renewed. Hope Rises Again!
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inspiration

Serenity in Adversity

It is not the extent of chaos around you that determines how serene you should remain; it is instead the measure of faith, maturity and patience that you possess.

It takes a special level of FAITH, MATURITY and PATIENCE to display serenity in the midst of adversity. Serenity is a state of mind and being that is worth pursuing.

Serenity does not necessarily mean the absence of turmoil, but a state of serenity keeps the turmoil outside.

O. N. Rowe

FAITH: Faith is having the confidence that the current situation, no matter how dire, will get better.

Consider the sun as it goes about its routine cycles. It is always there, hovering high in the skies. The rain clouds form and often fully cover the sky, suppressing the sun’s visibility. But the sun is still there! The clouds will NOT last and eventually they dissipate to once again reveal the sun in all its glory.

Similarly, if we manage to hold on long enough, better will come.

MATURITY: Appropriate response to adversity requires MATURITY. At the same time, maturity is an outgrowth of adversity. They go hand in hand. We all have our different responsibilities, shaped by our circumstances. Being excited about something today does not guarantee future excitement. At the same time, not enjoying something today does not mean you will not in the future. Having responsibilities removes the luxury of stopping something just because we are no longer enjoying it.

Serenity is possible even under such circumstances, providing we use the opportunity for introspection, recalibration and the determination of what is important to us.

Maturity looks different for all of us, but underpinning this notion is the ability to put our experiences and expectations in their correct perspective, thereby allowing us to demonstrate serenity in our responses to them.

PATIENCE: I have touched on patience in some of my previous posts, and it’s the main focus being on patience being the result of our challenges.

Serenity occurs where turmoil meets patience. When things are going our way, it is expected that we will be at ease, at peace and in a calm state of mind.

However, patience is what allows us to endure when things are actually going wrong. It is that state of being where we recognize that being agitated and upset does nothing to help our situation. Patience plays the long game.

Serenity is not merely the absence of turmoil; instead it speaks to the state of mind that allows us to remain in a deliberately calm and rational state of being despite things going wrong around us. It is about having the patience to remain calm knowing that this current situation shall pass.

In the midst of the chaos, serenity can be found – if you look closely enough. Yes there is an element of ‘Serene’ in this picture.

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inspiration

LIFE = LEARNING

Starting by reading the instructions can help you avoid needless heartaches later

“When all else fails, read the instructions.”

Certainly not a safe way to go, but sometimes by our actions that is exactly how we approach it. Sometimes we can get away with it, but other times this can lead to disastrous outcomes.

When you purchase a piece of ready-to-assemble furniture or equipment from IKEA or other places, expect varying degrees of complexity in the way the instructions are presented. When followed closely and accurately, the outcome is generally assured. However, one misinterpretation can lead to a tiny misplaced part, which can then lead to faulty, and perhaps dangerous, outcome.

I have experienced that a few times, and usually the reason is my failure to read the instructions carefully BEFORE doing the assembly, and sometimes not reading them at all!

Trying to assemble something before reading the instructions is like shooting in the dark and hoping you hit the target.

O. N. Rowe

Unfortunately some of life’s biggest decisions do not come with instructions. Yes there might be guidelines that can provide options to try; however, there is no guarantee that following such guidelines will yield the outcome you expect.

As a Parent I know what it is like to be diligent in applying some ‘guidelines’ only to find that you missed the disclaimers that say: ‘Caution: following these guidelines might yield the same outcomes you are hoping to stop or prevent!’ Well that’s because ‘…they’ve never met my Child!’

Point is that life requires that we experience, and learn, a number of important things as we go along. We sometimes take steps to assure desired outcomes, but we will never know the actual outcome we will have, until we get to that point. We then have the opportunity to adjust some things as needed, thereby correcting some of those mistakes we previously made.

DISCLAIMER: As Parents our approach to raising our child(ren) often evolves as we get to ‘understand’ them more. However, we sometimes find that after modifying our own approach, our child(ren) suddenly change their minds about what they actually like, or really want, or what they think, thereby nullifying what we previously thought we had learned.

O. N. Rowe

Nevertheless, life is filled with unexpected outcomes that can serve to help us grow into better human beings. Don’t let your ego prevent you from – carefully – reading the instructions that are available. Yes, LIFE requires LEARNING.

Activities of varying complexities require some amount of instruction.
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inspiration

Life = Perspective

If you feel you can’t overcome your current situation, or that you can’t change your circumstances, try changing your perspective.

Life is like the filter feature in a photo App. Your underlying situation may remain the same, but you can do various things to change your view of it, things that might make all the difference in the world!

To a great extent the perspective through which you view your life often shapes your reality. That is because your expectations impact your actions, which in turn determine outcomes. If you believe you can do something and work towards it, very little can prevent you from achieving it.

On the other hand, if you do not believe something is possible, you are defeated from the outset because your level of conviction will again determine your level of effort, which in turn affect your chances of success.

The optimism inherent in a ‘can-do’ attitude energizes someone and fuels their passion to succeed. Often times, it is this passion that ultimately changes what could have been a disastrous failure, to a resounding victory.

O. N. Rowe

Success in life requires a certain level of faith. Sometimes this faith is based on observation of cause and effect over time, which helps to shape our expectations and the relationship between actions and outcome. For example, someone who does well in school is more likely to get into a better college, education, job, etc., than someone who does not get similarly good results. There is no guarantee that the outcome will end being what you expect, but still you proceed with the expectation of similar, or better, outcome.

In the same way, a significant contributor to our success or failure to overcome our challenges rests with our perception of our ability to overcome. It is not necessarily the situation itself, which sometimes might be bad, but other times will not be as bad as they would seem at first.

As we look back at our past experiences we can often conclude that the most significant observation would have been that our experiences in life, and how we respond to them, are significantly impacted by the lens through which we view them.