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10 Life Lessons From The Highway (Part 9 of 10)

The highway can present an intricate network of options for directions to travel. Which way should you go?

LIFE LESSON #9:

You never know who is observing your behaviour on the highway

The highway is a public space, with every legitimate user having a right to access. Some require toll to be paid, while others are free to use. There are unfortunately users who are sometimes not equipped to be there, and that can be problematic for public safety.

We sometimes make the mistake of believing that we are anonymous users of the road and hence feel we can ‘let loose’ on anyone we feel violates our own concept of what responsible driving is.. Someone cuts into our lane causing us to have to brake suddenly to avoid an accident, and we lash out in a manner that might, in hindsight, make us embarrassed. It might just be that our behaviour is being observed by someone who saw us as role models.

Or sometimes we are late for some appointment, and figure we can exceed the speed limit, looking out for the highway patrol, making sure to observe the speed limit while said personnel are visible. I recall doing just that on one occasion and figured that I managed to evade the authorities. Well a few days later I got a speeding ticket in the mail!

Similarly in life we sometimes go about our days not caring what impact our actions have on others. We fail to consider how we respond to situations that we encounter and the possible impact it will have on someone who is observing us even without us being aware.

We won’t always see the warning, but sometimes we are being observed, incognito!

We take shortcuts, bend the rules, tell lies here and there, all in the name of getting ahead. In other cases rationalizing that our actions are justifiable because ‘nobody is getting hurt’ by our actions.

While we seek to get ahead in life, it is not ok to seek to get ahead at all cost! As members of our various communities, we have a responsibility to adhere to the rules that are put in place to ensure smooth operation of that community.

As we journey through our days, let us be mindful that we will not always know who is watching us, and we should therefore ensure that our actions can stand up to scrutiny.

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inspiration

10 Life Lessons From The Highway (Part 8 of 10)

LIFE LESSON #8:

Sometimes Our GPS Gets It Wrong

A year or so after landing in Canada, as we set about finding a more permanent home, we knew a bit more about the layout of our city. However, unfortunately not enough to allow us to travel without some means of guidance.

At first our guide was Google (not Google Maps!). We would look up an address and print off the directions to the address, making sure we also print off the directions to return home! As we traveled along each journey we paid close attention to every turn and every stop. We did miss sometimes, but…well, obviously we got back on track.

Later on we decided to purchase a GPS to assist with real-time guidance, thinking that would have solved our problems. After all, the GPS is always correct! Right!!?? Well not quite so.

I recall one particular time we set out to an address that we wanted to go check out, GPS set and off we went. We traveled along for sometime and as it indicated that we were near to our destination we started to get anxious, and worried! Because we seemed to have been heading into a vast undeveloped piece of Prairie land.

Eventually we heard the words “You have reached your destination l. Your destination is on the left.” We immediately laughed and looked at each other. We knew this could not have been where we ought to be, because where we had stopped was smack in the middle of nowhere! Not a building was in sight! Just white, snow covered grassland!

When your destination is a home address, and your GPS gets it wrong

Needless to say, we returned home with a few anxious thoughts, since that same unreliable GPS was what we would have to rely on to get home! We also learned an important lesson: Not every GPS is reliable, and even the most reliable ones are not necessarily correct all the time!

That job that you lost; that marriage that broke down; that trip to the emergency room. These are all places that one does not set out intending to get to, but that’s where their GPS has taken them. It is then up to us to have a plan to get back on track.

We need to ensure that we do our own homework and not rely on someone else to guide us the whole way. What we need is someone reliable to point us on the right direction, advise us on the tools we need, and then set out.

O. N. Rowe

There will be some wrong turns along the way, but as long as we keep on pressing in the direction we seek to go, we will be advancing with every step…and that is the essence of progress!

Don’t be afraid to seek guidance as you travel along your journey. Sometimes all you need is someone to point you in the right direction.
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inspiration

10 Life Lessons From The Highway (Part 7 of 10)

LIFE LESSON # 7

Sometimes you set out without any idea where you are going and no idea how to get there, and you have no choice but to rely on GPS.

When we set out on our journey through life, we generally begin with no idea what’s out there, what the pitfalls and dangers are. In our early years we tend to feel that we can afford to make mistakes because we are young and will have time to correct whatever goes wrong with our lives. So we set out taking unnecessary and dangerous risks.

As we grow older and (hopefully) wiser, we begin to think more long term. We start to think beyond the moment; beyond where we are now. We begin to think about where we would like to be 5, 10, or 15 years from now.

Years ago when my wife and I decided to move to Canada, we did so having had no prior visits to Canada. The whole journey therefore was new to us. We relied on knowing where we needed to end up; booking the right flight(s); and finally, we had arranged with someone to meet us and take us to our intended destination – an apartment which would be our home for a while.

Many things that we pursue throughout our lifetime is done with no guarantee of where we will end up. Yes we are most times reasonably sure of where we WANT to end up but one wrong turn can take us somewhere entirely different.

How many times have we heard others speak about being in their current career ‘by accident’? While in most instances they are enjoying their accidental vocation, one should not rely on that approach working out for them always.

Any destination that one seeks to reach should be carefully and deliberately planned, with appropriate guidance from others who know about the destination; persons who have travelled the journey and can caution you around the pitfalls; persons who can legitimately claim to have ‘been there, done that;’ and who can provide wise counsel around how to get there.

Some will choose to just ‘wing it,’ but even when we know where we want to get to, know how to get there and have made the best laid plans to get there, sometimes we fail to notice that the GPS is sending us down the wrong path, giving us the wrong directions, and we ultimately get lost.

“Uhmm…I think I missed my turn a few miles back!”

Which will be the topic of takes my next Life Lesson: “Sometimes our GPS gets it wrong.”

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inspiration

10 Life Lessons From The Highway (Part 6 of 10)

LIFE LESSON # 6

Every now and then you have to change lane, take a detour, or abort the journey and go back home.

One of the most annoying experiences for me on the road is to be stuck behind someone for whom it seems to be their life’s goal to always be going ‘easy like Sunday morning.’ Especially when in my effort to be efficient and not waste time on the roads, I have not allowed myself any buffer for such eventualities. Ok it might just be that I am tardy but I won’t ever suggest that’s a valid explanation.

The reality is that for some, they have so carefully planned their journey that what seems to be a case of them ‘holding up traffic’ might just be a case of 1) going at the speed at which they are comfortable; 2) have no reason to go faster as they have ample time to get to their destination; 3) are just on the road to try to clear their minds of other stressors; or possibly they have some apprehension about where they are heading, or the purpose for heading there.

Whatever the reason, since I have my own agenda pursuing and know what’s at stake, in order for me to get ahead I need to change lanes.

In life we often set out on our journey towards a career that we feel is exactly what we want, only to find out that we do not qualify. Or perhaps our circumstances change in such a material way that renders pursuit of that preferred career futile in which case we would likely stop and count our losses.

Is there something that is trying to tell you that a change is necessary? Perhaps you need to learn to ‘take a hint?’

Another situation that we sometimes face is having started out heading to a specified destination and along a specified route. We become aware of something happening along the way such as road construction, an accident, or something significant enough which then forces us to take an entirely different route.

Similarly in life perhaps we have found that our passion is actually in something else, or maybe due to changes in circumstances or in general around us we decide to pursue something else which requires that we change course. As we go along we assess our progress and make adjustments as needed.

For many people their journeys have been dynamic. They have recognized that flexibility is important, and have a willingness to let go of the past in their push towards their future. It is not beneficial to stay committed to a sinking ship. Neither is it smart to seek to rationalize and stick to plans that currently have no bearing on reality, even if they once did.

While it is important to be resilient and determined, we need to continually assess our plans, our circumstances, and the environment around us and know when we should change lanes, or make a detour, or even to turn around and go back to the drawing board in order to determine our next steps.

That is a necessary part of our journey.

Be prepared to change direction in your journey through life.
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inspiration

10 Life Lessons From The Highway (Part 5 of 10)

LIFE LESSON #5:

Courtesy goes a long way!

Everyone you meet is going about their own business; sometimes to the same destination, but for different reasons. For some, their battles are not necessarily displayed on their faces. You can’t tell by looking! For others it is a case of “I do not need a mood ring; I have a face!” A pleasant encounter, in the midst of the hustle and bustle of life, often makes for a positive experience all round.

Having positive interactions help make the journey we are on far more pleasant. Sometimes they might even make the difference between someone being overwhelmed and losing the battle to frustration, or being re-energized and motivated to keep on pushing through their battles.

Expending emotional capital on navigating poor human relations distracts someone from the task at hand, and with the responsibilities around living already so challenging, that does not help.

At times someone absentmindedly and unintentionally does something that negatively affects someone else. That can lead to ‘road rage’ which does not usually end well. If our objective is to remain courteous at all times, we avoid the pitfalls of jumping to conclusions about others’ motives, or colouring their actions through the lens of our own biases thereby overreacting and lashing out for no reason.

Courtesy is like a lubricant that helps to remove friction from human interactions thereby creating a more harmonious society. Our responses in those situations are where there’s real potential for conflict, can serve to prevent escalations, and perhaps even winning someone over.

Better yet, take it a bit further and be kind enough to encourage someone else on their journey through their highway experience. After all everyone you meet is perhaps dealing with their own struggles.

We are all on the highway of life together. It will not always be pleasant, but that doesn’t mean you cannot choose to be
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inspiration

10 Life Lessons From The Highway (Part 4 of 10)

LIFE LESSON #4:

Sometimes there are traffic jams, leading to gridlock and a slow burn on the road.

Do you sometimes feel as if you are going nowhere? Like your life is stagnant and nothing you do seems to help? I suspect we have all been there. How do you deal with those situations? In those times it is important that we hunker down and keep on going. It might be the only route to your destination and if yo are going to make it, then you gotta keep at it.

You just gotta keep on pushing through, because it is always darkest before the dawn; the presence of clouds doesn’t mean the sun is not there; and like being stuck in traffic on the highway, sometimes relief is just around the corner!

Sometimes it is slow going for a while and then suddenly and without any apparent explanation for what was keeping you back, things suddenly turn around and you find yourself sailing through.

I get it – Nobody wants to be stuck in a gridlock on the roads, and less so in their life. It is frustrating; yet unfortunately it is one of the realities of life. It might mean pulling over and finding somewhere to wait it out. Go spend some time with relatives; if you have writers block go sit by a lake or on the beach, free your mind and inspiration will eventually come.

While often hard to recognize, significant growth is possible while stuck in traffic. Sometimes that is when you get the chance to observe the beauty, or lack thereof, of the scenery you tend to miss every day. You develop patience. Or you learn to adapt and cope by perhaps putting in your favourite music; or listen to your inspirational podcast; or maybe, just maybe, that becomes your opportunity to slow down and reflect.

Whether in spite of, or because of, your traffic jam, good things CAN happen. Make the most of your traffic jam.

Rush hour is one of the most stressful situations on the road. Imagine that – “RUSH HOUR“ and yet literally going nowhere!
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inspiration

10 Life Lessons From The Highway (Part 3 of 10)

LESSON #3:

Sometimes our vehicle stalls or runs out of gas and we have to seek help in the form of fuel, or in having it towed.

A basic rule of the road is to always ensure you have adequate fuel to make the journey, or at least have options for top-up if and when needed. However, it is not uncommon to experience an unexpected scenario which, despite your best planning, creates a problematic outcome for you.

In life we never know where help will come from, and we hope that help will come when we need it. Some situations cannot be planned for, even if they can be avoided. Like having an illness, or worse. As humans we are prone to illnesses, and sometimes critical illnesses.

Individuals have been cut down by illnesses in the prime of their lives. Despite how physically healthy someone appears, there is always something lurking in the shadows. Further, accidents happen, sometimes with tragic outcomes. Then what?

Whatever the cause, the reality is that sometimes the result is that of our own strength, or due to the lack thereof, we need outside help. Where will that help come from?

It is therefore important that we live our lives recognizing that it is always wise to invest in helping others, not with the focus on getting something in return, but for the main reason that it is the good thing to do. Beyond that, our generosity goes a long way in establishing goodwill with others.

There might come a point when we are unable to extend help to others, even if we are able to afford to pay for any help we need. However, the time may well come when something that money cannot buy, becomes needed. The help we need might then be dependent on someone else’s generosity.

We generally aim to live our lives working for, and expecting, the very best that life has to offer. However, despite our best efforts, bad things happen to good people. It is best to be prepared.

Despite our best efforts, we sometimes run out of fuel, or are otherwise incapacitated and are then totally dependent on others
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inspiration

10 Life Lessons From The Highway (Part 2 of 10)

LESSON #2:

Sometimes you have to rely on other motorists to help you out. Perhaps other motorists give you a pass so that you can get ahead.

Often times we find ourselves needing support or assistance from someone else, even strangers. The saying ‘no man is an island’ provides a succinct representation of the truth of the interdependence of humanity.

Sometimes we find ourselves on our face, broke and helpless. Without someone stepping in we could find the struggle too hard for us to bear, or ‘late for the party’ and missing out on opportunities that we might have been pursuing and so badly need. Maybe we have some emergency and need to get somewhere FAST!

Despite our best planning and precautions, we never know when that time will come, and from whom that help will come. One thing I find doesn’t work well: trying to force someone to give us a pass. On the roads we are often at the mercy of other motorists, and a polite ‘request’ is sometimes all it takes to get that assistance we need to get ahead.

Similarly, we need to respectfully and politely seek help, knowing that it is the prerogative of the person or organization we have reached out to for this help, to extend such help or to deny it. Sometimes, being polite, even after apparently being refused, can cause a change of mind thus securing the help we need.

Oh, and let’s not forget to acknowledge, and appreciate, the help we get. We might not get the chance to return the favour to the source of our help, but we can definitely ‘pay it forward’ by offering helping hands to someone else.

Let us not forget the hands that have fed us, lifted us, or shoved us out of the way of danger, but be willing to do the same for others.

Life requires changing lanes, and sometimes we need the goodness of others to facilitate that.
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inspiration

10 Life Lessons From The Highway

Our journey through life is like traveling along a highway. You never know what you will encounter as you travel along.

We’ve all traveled on a highway at some point. Highways are a complex interconnection of speed limits, weave zones, speed bumps, detours, etc., all while ensuring your ride is road-worthy – meaning fit to be driven, insured, and has fuel, while navigating the different ‘crazy’ motorists we unavoidably have to contend with on the road.

Depending on whether we are pedestrians or motorists, our perspective of the highways is different. Navigating the highway, especially as motorists, requires a basic understanding of our vehicle, reading and interpreting the road signs, staying in our lanes, all while anticipating what other road users might do.

Without a careful plan of our route, we could experience significant delays, or even end up somewhere we did not intend to be. Sometimes we might find ourselves in ‘hostile’ territory with craters masquerading as roadways.

All in all, our experience on a highway provides a perfect metaphor for this thing called LIFE. Join me as I explore this thing called LIFE from the perspective of our experiences on the highway: 10 Life Lessons from the Highway.

LIFE LESSON #1:

If you don’t know where you are going, any road will take you there.

If you don’t know where you are going, how will you know that you have reached?

This sounds confusing, but it is true. If you don’t know what you want to be in life, you will not be able to put in place the appropriate plans to get there. Without a plan it becomes impossible to know when you have reached where you want to be.

Life comes with countless decisions to make such as college, career, or job options to choose from, and they all require choosing the appropriate route.

O. N. Rowe

While it might be difficult to identify or even prepare for what you would consider the ultimate career for you, it is important to have some guide, even if short-term. It will mean doing your research so that you can make informed decisions, even if it is about establishing 5-year or ten-ten year goals.

If you are going somewhere for the first time it helps to have either a GPS or at least the directions whether on paper or in your head. Otherwise it becomes a case of ’So I am on the highway; now what?’

With a destination in mind you can then plan the best or preferred route for your particular journey’s needs. This helps to avoid undesirable delays and disruptive detours along the way.

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inspiration Inspirational Thoughts

Life = Choices

Life sometimes provides us with lots of choices: sometimes between good and bad; good and better; or between bad and worse.

Choices are abundant in almost all facets of our lives. We are mostly free to make important choices like careers, jobs, religion, or life partners, and less consequential choices relating to matters such as which outfit to wear when, what colour nail polish or lipstick to buy, what to eat for breakfast/lunch/dinner, etc.

Many of the choices we face daily are universally recognized, and personally demanded and enforced. Some are repetitive and routine, and are applied without much thought.

CHOICES IN OUR ACTIONS AND WORDS: A very important choice we make each day has to do with our actions and our words. Actions have consequences whether positive or negative. Some actions produce immediate rewards or consequences, others produce delayed rewards or consequences. In some cases our actions might provide direct benefit to others, but they are mostly beneficial to ourselves.

However, when it comes to our words, a little goes a long way. As difficult as it might be to do so, it is very important that we choose our words wisely…especially when we are upset.

Being angry tends to suppress any inhibition or concern we might otherwise have had, about the impact of what we say to others. In fact, in our anger, we tend to choose our words strategically, i.e, to have the biggest impact. We aim for their weakest spot, which we sometimes know very well, to attack.

We usually get over whatever made us upset eventually, and perhaps before long it fades from our memory. However, our words and the impact they would have had on the intended target will rest with them for a long time to come, and may well shape their future.

CONCLUDING THOUGHT:

We should always keep in mind that for every situation we encounter we have a choice in how we respond. Yes – that part is entirely up to us. If we demand the right to having a choice about rejecting something that does not favour us, we also should, conversely, accept responsibility for any outcome that emanates from a choice we made.

If, in our interactions with others, we allow someone to aggravate us to the point where we react in an inappropriate or even embarrassing manner, again that is on us. To attempt to sidestep responsibility and say, or even suggest, that someone else ‘made me do it’ is nothing short of an attempt to deflect responsibility. Beyond that though, it suggests an admission that we are not in control of ourselves but instead, are controlled by others.

Choices, after all, have their consequences.